http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_179119.asp

Roy Exum: A Mule And Traffic Cameras
by Roy Exum
posted July 2, 2010

Roy Exum
There is a story about two good ole boys who heard about a mule for sale in the next county. They got a picture, liked what they saw and, late one afternoon, they drove over and struck a deal for $500. Trouble was, they didn’t have a truck to haul the mule back home. So they paid the farmer and promised to fetch the animal the next Saturday.

When they returned, it seemed the mule had just died and, when they asked for their money back, the farmer said he’d already spent it and couldn’t pay. Well, much to the chagrin of all, the two ole boys loaded the dead mule in the truck and hauled the carcass home.

But driving back, they hatched a plan. They still had the picture of the mule standing in the pasture so they printed up a bunch of $2 raffle tickets for the good-looking animal. They quickly sold 427 of those tickets and, when they finally had the drawing down at the feed and seed store, they pulled the winner aside, sadly told him the mule had died, and gave him back his $2.

It is said the two good ole boys now work for the “gova-mint.”

If you think that’s funny, here’s another a little closer to home. There is a kindly fellow in Hixson who sent me an email this week – I have his name – who told me that not long ago his son bought a pickup truck from a fellow we’ll call Fred.

So when ole Fred got one of those traffic camera tickets from Red Bank, he scurried down and showed proof to the folks at the Red Bank City Hall that he’d sold the truck to a boy who lived in Hixson. Fred gave the address of the boy’s daddy and skedaddled.

Trouble is, the boy who bought the truck has since been killed in an automobile accident. So the other day the still-grieving father got a “second notice” from the Red Bank “gova-mint”, saying if he didn’t pay the boy would be cited by court as a “no show.”

At this point the boy’s mother called Red Bank City Hall to say their son was deceased. She was told Red Bank City Hall doesn’t fall for such scams, that the “gova-mint” is smarter than that, and she must appear in person with a written statement of proof-of-death from the funeral home.

How does that work for you?

Several weeks ago there was a story in the newspaper that said how delighted Red Bank Mayor Joe Glasscock was the town’s traffic cameras were generating fewer fines. He pointed to the fact that in 2009 the cameras brought in $579,175, but that this year it was predicted the yield would be $443,000. “It tickles me to death,” he said, adding, “It means we did our educational job.”

But last Saturday another article appeared in the newspaper which told of a different “education” that has been taught by the Red Bank “gova-mint.” It is a fact more and more people are avoiding the town like the plague. State records show a 14 percent decrease in traffic counts and it is pretty obvious businesses and the community itself have suffered.

Red Bank continues to be the only town surrounding Chattanooga that has the camera devices and, as its politicians spout their quest for safety, the town “gova-mint” splits revenues with a giggling camera operator. If there is anyone who truthfully believes Red Bank is safer than East Ridge, Signal Mountain or Soddy Daisy please step forward.

Or, to cop a line from the famous Chicago Black Sox scandal of long ago, “Say it ain’t so, Joe.”

Proponents love to say, “If you don’t break the law, then the cameras don’t matter” but the bitter truth is there is no evidence a traffic camera does much more than fleece an unsuspecting motorist. Look at the states that have banned them. Look at the gutless Tennessee legislature who shelved 17 bills this last session because – hello – the local “gova-mints” across the state want “the easy money.”

Every time a police officer stands in front of a flock of new media and touts a traffic camera, the officer who is paid by the same “gova-mint” that uses the ill-gotten devices should be arrested for fibbing. Red Bank has proven it and, yes sir, we’ve all gotten quite an education.

Why, in the name of safety, doesn’t the Red Bank Commission put traffic cameras on the same ballot that will carry their names in November? There’s a fat chance of that happening, but now it doesn’t much matter. What has happened in Red Bank is awful.

And, don’t worry, nobody needs to bring “a written statement of proof-of-death from a funeral home.”

This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Title
Comment	smaller | bigger
Name
Email
Write the displayed characters
Subscribe via email (registered users only)
	Add Comment Preview